


Inside

by needleyecandy



Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Anal Sex, M/M, Mental Illness, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:43:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4632594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The asylum is lonely, until Thor gets a roommate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside

**Author's Note:**

> As with [The Mission](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4468835), this is a story that I started for Fucking February and it ended up not fitting that series. It's inspired by David Bowie's [All the Madmen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb7Xdu7STx8), which I think inaccurately glamorizes mental illness, and this is not an accurate depiction of mental illness or mental institutions. Bowie, PWP and I apparently are not meant to be a thing. 
> 
> Please do heed the tags.

Thor was in 'observation' for his first month there. That meant lots of sessions, and questions, and no peace at all. He did his best, taking every pill they put in front of him, playing along with all their games, trying to get out. And the thing that moved him from 'observation' to 'permanent' wasn't even his fault; the water in his shower was so hot it burned him, and so he washed as best he could in his sink. When he complained, he was told that no one else seemed to have a problem with the water. They decided his refusal to shower was a sign of something worse, and made him permanent. 

It turned out to be nicer there, at least. The water was cooler, and he stood under it until they yelled at him to get out. And this part of the building was more open, in some sections. There was a large yard with a pretty fence hiding an electric one, and he could go for walks and feel the sunshine on his face - and oh, wasn't that good after a month behind a series of locks. He could go to the snack room and get himself a bowl of apple slices and then go to the library and read. It seemed strange, that while he was in observation everything was far too artificial to be worth watching him, and now that he was here, no one watched. 

He still wanted out, though. He was lonely. He piled up some pillows beneath the blankets on the empty bed and named it Gus, but no matter how much he talked, Gus never answered back. 

***** 

No one paid much attention to Thor until he got his new roommate. Loki didn't talk to Thor for their first week together, either, merely watched him with cool eyes. The second week, he spoke. 

"Why are you trying to be perfect?" he asked. 

Thor had spoken to him, of course, for something to do. "I told you, so they'll let me out." 

"But why?" Loki insisted. 

"Because... we're trapped here. It's like prison." 

" _Life_ is prison, out there. Everything is cold and hard and everyone fights over who has more cold hard things. They keep working harder just to stay in the same place. It's like one of those mouse wheels that you can't get off." 

Thor shrugged. "That's just how life is." 

Loki rose from his bed and walked across the room to settle on Thor's. "It's how life is out there. Our lives don't have to be. Here it's warm and soft - even our walls are soft," he said, poking a finger into the padding. 

"This section is different than where I was before," Thor said. "That place they watched me all day and kept asking me questions. Here it's like they don't care." 

"We're the ones they've given up on," Loki said gently. "They don't think they can change us, so they put us here and give us food and keep things clean, and they pity us. They never stop to think that we're better off than they are. Come on." He stood up and reached out his hand. 

Thor took it, and Loki led him up a stairwell that seemed to go forever. But finally, they were on the roof. It was enclosed with plexiglass. 

"Look," Loki said. 

Thor looked out. The grounds of the asylum were lush, the lawn thick and green, dotted with flower beds and ringed with fruit trees. Red apples and yellow pears gleamed on their branches. Birds sang and squirrels darted across the lawn. 

Beyond the grounds was a freeway. It was a mess of stopped cars and brake lights. 

"Look at them," Loki said. "They sit through that to go to work at jobs they hate to earn money to maintain their cars because they don't have time to care about anything besides their cars because they're at work all the time. They say we're crazy because we can't handle it. I think they're crazier because they can." 

Thor drew his gaze back to their own grounds. "Why did you take so long to talk to me?" he asked. 

"I was trying to decide if you were real." 

"And you decided I am?" 

Loki shrugged. "I think so. I'm not sure how much I care, anyway. I like you." 

For the first time since he got there, Thor smiled too. 

Once Loki decided to give Thor his attention, he gave completely. It was a little unsettling at first to wake and find Loki curled in bed with him. In time, though, it came to be warm and comforting. Loki slept plastered against him, long slender limbs wrapping around and holding tight. 

When Loki began to want Thor's affection in return, he was happy to give it. They could spend hours in bed, whole days devoted to running their tongues across eager skin, hungry hands delving, whispers waking further wishes. 

When Thor took him for the first time, Loki cried. He said it was because he was happy. 

It was in the shower that it happened. Loki had taken to following him into the bathroom, not wanting them to be apart for a single moment. It was unsettling at first, having Loki standing there watching him relieve himself, but he decided that he didn't care. Having Loki near him did make him feel good, and Loki got agitated when he didn't get his way. Sometimes he would bite his own fingers. It scared Thor to see him do that. 

But the shower had never been an issue, and the progression had been a natural one. Loki would lather his hair while Thor soaped himself up, and then Loki would rinse his hair while Thor shampooed, and then Loki would let his conditioner sit while he washed himself. Kisses had come naturally, stolen as they traded turns in the spray or reaching past one another for one of the bottles that ringed the tub. Touching had followed just as easily as scrubbing each other's backs until slick and soapy hands went exploring. 

It ended up happening just like in a disgusting joke Thor had heard about prisons. "Don't drop the soap, hurr hurr," people said when they talked about prison. And then the day came Loki did drop the soap and bent over to pick it up and the way he was so beautifully displayed made Thor think he must have done it on purpose. His hands were wet and slick and the first finger went in so easily and Loki pushed back against him and said, " _yes._ " His voice burned Thor's skin. 

Thor thought he was being careful, using his fingers, using so much conditioner Loki scolded him for wasting it, but Loki still cried when he pushed in. 

"I'm sorry," Thor said. 

Loki shook his head impatiently. "Don't worry, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter," he said. 

So Thor kept going, pressing forwards inch by inch, his hands on Loki's hips holding him still until they were at last pressed together. He leaned over him and pressed burning kisses on Loki's spine until he stopped shaking. 

"Are you all right now?" Thor asked. 

"I am. Do it," Loki told him. 

So Thor did. He held onto Loki, wet fingers digging into tender skin as he took him, watching Loki's slender arm press against the wall to brace himself. Loki was making little mewling noises each time Thor thrust in, little moans of loss each time Thor pulled away. 

When he got close, he reached around and took Loki's cock in his hand, urging him on to completion. Loki came with a long low cry, right as Thor felt his second pulse of spend pour out. Loki stood on shaking legs, leaning against the wall, as Thor carefully washed him. He turned the water pressure as low as it would go before aiming it at Loki's opening, rinsing him clean until it seemed there was no more left in him to leak. 

Thor dried him affectionately with one of the big fluffy towels Loki liked so much. He gave himself a more cursory treatment before picking Loki up and carrying him to bed. "Are you sore?" he asked as he curled around the slighter figure. 

Loki nodded. "A little," he whispered. 

"I'll take care of you. I'll learn to do better," he promised. 

They did learn, with time and practice, how to do better. Loki was still left red and tender, but Thor looked after him so thoroughly, he said he didn't mind. He said he liked the rest of it, that it felt good to have Thor inside him and Thor's hand on him and Thor's spill deep within. He liked to do it in bed, on his stomach, so it would go in more. Loki's own spill messed the bed, but Thor never minded sleeping in it. 

When someone came to change the sheets, they always shook their head at him. "Oh, Thor," they'd say. 

"What else are we supposed to do with our time?" he would ask, and they would look sad. 

***** 

Thor had been there three years when they started giving him a different kind of pill. "This one has real potential to help you. Maybe you can get back your grasp on reality," they said. 

It took a week before the effects became apparent. Thor didn't like them at all. 

No matter how much he talked, Gus never answered back. 


End file.
